Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
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