i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize