Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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