She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
