I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
