You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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