I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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