Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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