Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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