May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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