dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
