you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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