I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
