yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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