honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
