My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
