covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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