please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize