Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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