Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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