I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
