I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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