Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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