Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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