omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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