I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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