You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
