U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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