That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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