Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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