I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
