I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
