ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
