I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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