would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
