That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
