Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize