He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
