Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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