I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
