i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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