allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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