Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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