his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
