Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
