Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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