And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
