I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
