So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
