You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
