called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
