so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize