ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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