How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
