it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
