Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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