dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
