I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
