I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
