I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
