I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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