A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So I just went to clothing optional bar
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
