Your mouth is God's brothel.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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